Ok, so I’m not very musically inclined. I’ve always thought that I could be; given the proper training. Well, that last part isn’t true. But I have always wanted to know how to play the guitar. When I turned 30 and had a break down over all the things I hadn’t accomplished in my life my mother decided that the easiest way to deal with me was to be supportive and buy me an acoustic guitar. She figured I could learn to play and be able to feel good about marking that “neverwas” off my list. Great idea, in theory.
Now here’s the reality of it. A year and a half later I have yet to produce one note on the thing. My desire to learn is still very strong and I still believe that someday I will be able to play along to my favorite songs (in the privacy of my own home where no one else can hear). At first, I was so afraid I was going to hurt it somehow. Now keep in mind, that I have been around people with guitars for as long as I can remember. A large portion of my friends play (some very well). I’ve had boyfriends that play, hell, one of my best friends released a his own cd and tours. So I know better than to think that by picking it up I’m going to snap it in half. Yet, here I am afraid to touch it.
My father-in-law and my best friend both have picked it up and played a bit on it and I can see that it’s not particularly fragile. Strangley enough, I had no problem with them playing it. No fear of it breaking, no desire to yank it out of their hands in fear. I felt totally comfortable watching them handle it. This made me realize that I wasn’t afraid I was going to break it. I’m afraid it’s going to break me.
No, I don’t think I’m going to lose a finger or anything. I’m afraid I’m not going to succeed. For someone like me, Type A all the way, that is a fate worse than death. I’m so afraid that I’m not going to be able to pick it up and start jamming to Cliffs of Dover that I haven’t even had the courage to pick it up at all.
Well, that ends today. I’m going to pick it up, toss it across my shoulder and strum until my little heart’s content. I don’t care how awful it sounds or if the dogs start howling. I want to learn how to play and I’m going to learn. I refuse to be afraid of life or it’s challenges anymore. I want to rock.
I bought 2 dvd’s that are supposed to help beginners learn the guitar. I’d much rather have a live actual person teaching me but I fear that is more than I can ask of anyone at this point. I’ll be making frequent updates on my journey into the world of guitar…stay tuned.